Musings

Moving Forward, Gaining Ground

I know today – for you – is a big day.

You may have awoken early, anxious or with a pit in your stomach.  I will not tell you that any of that is nonsense.  In fact, I claim the opposite.  You see, yesterday I too had to take back ground…and every moment up to it was miserable.  I still feel as though I’m reeling from it.  Yesterday was full of stomach pits so enormous I am still shocked they didn’t swallow me whole; and shaking hands, feet, arms; the splotchy chest and flushed cheeks from shallow breathing; and pre-played mental conversations that never seemed to end.  I know the drill.  Moments before the confrontation came, I had to excuse myself to lose it in the bathroom.  So, I get it.  I do.

But I can also tell you the moment the confrontation was over, it all felt worth it; and I, once again, reveled in the glory of faithfulness.  So quick am I to forget. The weight of chaos and shame lifted off my shoulders with each word during the conversation; I partook an active role in staking claim to my freedom from that which had buried me for a long, long time.  Of course, there are still things I have to work through and the task is not fully complete.  I still -perhaps most importantly- have to mentally chose to dwell in said freedom.  And that is, arguably, a task harder still than the confrontation itself.  But, I travail because I know it is ground that is intended to be mine.  I refuse to be captive.

And so, it is with the most sympathetic of hearts that I aim to encourage you today.  I know what I am asking of you and I do not take it lightly.  But I do ardently believe it will be for your good, and for greater glory.

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